A huge thing for me in adulthood has been realizing that I can just “act normal” to the best of my ability and not worry about it beyond that. As in: try to be kind, polite, considerate, not hurt anyone if possible, be willing and able to engage in conflict with people I love. And even so not everyone is going to like me and sometimes I’ll hurt people’s feelings and that’s actually just part of life. You don’t know and can’t predict where other people are coming from and it’s not generally your problem what they project onto you; empathy is necessarily imperfect. I used to live in constant fear that I would upset someone accidentally because to me the worst thing in the world was the idea of offending someone or being disliked (just classic people pleaser stuff). But actually that’s an exhausting way to live and results in constant mild dishonesty. The way I aspire to live now is to just be a decent person to the best of my ability and accept the consequences of my actions and apologize when I’m wrong.